Four years ago, I made a New Years resolution not to eat fast food for a year. Fast food I defined as any food from a fast food restaurant like McDonald’s, Burger King, Jack-in-the-Box, Taco Bell, etc. Places that have drive-thrus and do not have servers or silverware. Where your food isn’t served on a plate. I excluded Steak-n-Shake and Subway from this resolution, because you can sit down and be served at Steak-n-Shake, even though they have a drive-thru window, and I ate a lot of Subway sandwiches - usually the healthy ones. And pizza and Chinese take-out were okay, too.

Aside from getting coffee or hot chocolate at a McDonald’s in the middle of the night or on the road to use the bathroom, I was successful. After one year, I decided to continue. And I didn’t eat fast food for more than four years.

At the end of December, I thought it would be okay to take a day off from my commitment to avoid fast food. I really, really loved the stuff and missed it, and why should I deprive myself?

So since I hadn’t had any fast food (as defined by me above) since mid-December 2004, my plan was to go crazy on December 31, 2008. But then I thought about it some more. I hadn’t had this kind of food in my system for four years. I would get sick. And I didn’t want to be sick on New Years Eve. So I moved it two days earlier, to Monday, December 29. I took the day off from work and headed to the Upper West Side where I was going to catch a 10:20 a.m. screening of Doubt.

I had some orange juice in the morning and on the way to the movie theater I stopped by the McDonald’s on West 73rd Street. I was late for the movie so I took the below items ‘To-Go’ and snuck them into the movie theater:

1 hash brown

1 Sausage, egg and cheese McMuffin

1 McSkillet breakfast burrito

After the movie ended I snuck into another movie, Australia, and I didn’t get out of there until about 3 PM. I was really hungry, so I went back to the same McDonald’s and ordered:

1 Cheeseburger

1 Big Mac

1 Medium French Fries

1 Medium Chocolate Milkshake

I sat down and wolfed all of that down pretty quickly, so I went back for the second round.

1 more Cheeseburger

1 Filet-o-fish

and another Cheeseburger

That was lunch. I was a bit disappointed by the Big Mac. It just didn’t taste as good as I remembered. The Cheeseburgers were a pleasant surprise, which is probably why I ate three. The Filet-o-Fish, which was my signature McDonald’s sandwich growing up (I always ordered that), was awful. I used to love that sandwich but the one I got that day was dry and disgusting.

Since my lunch was late, I didn’t eat dinner until about 9 PM. I had my mind set on Taco Bell, because I really missed that shit. I used to love going there when I lived in St. Louis. Chalupas, Gorditas, Mexican Pizzas, Grilled Stuffed Burritos, Nachos Bel Grande… Hmm-mmm-mmm. But Taco Bell isn’t very easy to find in Manhattan. There aren’t many, so I took a cab from my apartment to Union Square. It’s one of very few in Manhattan, and it’s the closest to my apartment.

I was planning on going for two rounds, but ended up stopping after the first. Back in the day I loved Grilled Stuffed Burritos, which were introduced near the end of my fast food days, and Gorditas, which hadn’t been around long then, either. But I couldn’t eat everything. I ordered:

1 Mexican Pizza

1 Nacho Cheese Chalupa

1 Baja Gordita

And an orange soda.

The Mexican Pizza was terrible - disgusting compared to how I remembered it. The Nacho Cheese Chalupa was okay, but I always favored Taco Bell Gorditas over Chalupas. Which is why I saved the Baja Gordita for last. It was heavenly.

I wanted to go for another round, but I thought that the responsible thing to do was to stop. I didn’t want a repeat of Thanksgiving 2002, when I ate my way to the emergency room.

So that was it. I didn’t eat everything that I wanted, but I still felt content. This will keep me going for a while. I don’t know how long I will abstain from fast food restaurant fast food again. Maybe I’ll go again at the end of 2009.

(Yes, I did get sick the next day)

10. The Wackness

9. Gran Torino

8. Milk

7. In Bruges

6. Snow Angels

5. Rachel Getting Married

4. Let the Right One In

3. The Wrestler

2. Wall-E

1. The Dark Knight

These came in close:
-The Reader
-Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son about His Father
-Man on Wire
-Doubt
-Last Chance Harvey
-Changeling

And when people asked me to recommend a movie that they probably haven’t heard of or might not otherwise see, my big recommendation was the underrated indie comedy The Hammer. It was the movie that surprised me more than anything else in 2008.

The worst of 2008:

I didn’t see either of the Friedberg/Seltzer films this year. In 2006 and 2007 they had my #1 spot, and their two releases in 2008 (Meet the Spartans and Disaster Movie) would have been a natural for #1 and #2… where I’m sure they would have placed them had I seen them.

10. The Happening
9. Vantage Point
8. Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed
7. The Day the Earth Stood Still
6. 10,000 B.C.
5. 88 Minutes
4. Bangkok Dangerous
3. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
2. War, Inc.
1. The Love Guru

Getting to hold that lion cub… it was incredibly soft. I can’t think of anything cooler - even though there were plenty of other cool things in 2008. These are the runner-ups:

Running. I did two races - a 10k and the NYC Half Marathon, which went through Central Park and Times Square. I wasn’t fast, and my time was terrible compared to avid runners. But it’s something I never thought I would be able to do. I haven’t been able to run for the last five months due to a foot injury, and I can’t wait to start running again. I also got a bike, which I normally ride to work every day, but it’s too cold now. If the weather is good enough, I go just about everywhere by bike. So between that and the running, it’s been a pretty fit year for me.

Kayaking and cliff diving. It wasn’t a big cliff, nor did I dive, but it’s probably the highest point I’ve ever jumped off of. (I have a fear of heights)
I look forward to doing it again this Summer.

12 days in Egypt.

I met a number of people that I really admire, or think are funny or talented. I already wrote about Gene Hackman and Chevy Chase. In 2008 I also met Ron Howard, Will Ferrell, Brandon Flowers of The Killers, Michael J. Fox, Robert Downey Sr., Joey Chestnut, Ricky Gervais, and a few others.

Last year I also got a 16mm film projector and have acquired a nice little collection of films, documentaries, cartoons, educational films, trailers, commercials and TV show episodes. And, as of last month, that includes a print of one of my all-time favorite animated shorts, about which I have written here a few times before: The Snowman.

To me, watching film projected is magical, especially in your own home. Not just the sequence of images projected onto a screen to create the illusion of movement, but also the hum of the projector, the scratches, the splices, the faded color, the lights turned off and the blinds shut… they all create a wonderful mood that gives me a warm feeling inside, watching these forgotten treasures.

I feel similarly about watching movies on CED (vinyl, or PVC to be specific - they look just like records). That’s also something I got into in 2008, and I will write more about it another time. I bought an old player and have collected about 50 or 60 titles… but they’re so big and heavy that I doubt I’ll acquire anymore.

So goodbye 2008, hello 2009. New Years Eve wasn’t like usual here. I think a lot of New Yorkers are happy to put 2008 behind them, yet they’re not looking forward to 2009. It’s with some guilt that I say that 2008 was a good year for me, knowing that so many others haven’t fared well this year. Just the thought of ‘09 scares me. It’s pretty weird when you think about it. Last night we ‘rang in the New’, knowing full well that it’s going to be shitty.

That said, I think there’s a lot to look forward to. Take the movies, my favorite form of escapism. I can’t wait to see Watchmen… and G.I. Joe… and Inglorious Basterds. And speaking of movies, I updated my list of 2008 films. I have been watching a lot of the Oscar contenders and year-end favorites over the last few weeks - films like The Wrestler, Revolutionary Road, Che and Let the Right One In. See which ones I liked and which ones I didn’t like. I’ll have my top 10 of 2008 (as well as the 10 worst of 2008) ready in a few days.

Speed Racer starts off with promise: a bright, trippy kaleidoscope. I anticipated the rest of the film to be like that, but it wasn’t. There are some astonishing visuals throughout the film, but it’s not enough. Moreover, the film is about 50 minutes too long. And it’s obvious which scenes were too long - or better yet, completely unnecessary. I saw this on an IMAX screen - which made the racing scenes really cool - but more than the bright colors and animated racetracks, I noticed kids getting restless and bored.
2.5/5

Some guys who went to the same film school as me made this movie, not far from St. Louis, with John Heard (first-billed, but in a supporting role), America Ferrara (right before her big break-out in Ugly Betty), Laurie Metcalf, and Raymond J. Barry. It gives Barry and Heard in particular an opportunity to shine. They’re two of the best working character actors, and I really enjoyed seeing them tear into something that lasts more than just a few minutes (Heard has a bit part in The Great Debaters).
3/5

This Oprah-produced inspirational drama came out late last year. It was one of those movies that I felt I should see but didn’t really want to. It got mediocre reviews, but the subject and time period got me interested so I ultimately put it in my Netflix queue. And boy am I glad that I did. It’s a very solid film. Denzel Washington, who also directed, is amazing and the kids who play the debaters were also outstanding. One thing that bugged me, though, was that one of the kids had a small camera that he brought along on the road to make home movies. I didn’t know that people had home movie cameras in the 1930s, when this was set. That’s an anachronism, right?
3/5

Roman Polanski made some films in Poland before moving to the U.S. (and later France). Knife in the Water was, I believe, his only feature there, and it’s obvious why he quickly moved on to bigger productions. Knife in the Water is a classic thriller in the vein of Hitchcock and Chabrol. Criterion put out a great DVD a while back, and also included a selection of Polanski’s short films. 3.5/5

I’m among the masses who were disappointed with Ang Lee’s Hulk five years ago. It was such a misfire in so many ways, most notably in that it took itself waaaaay to serious, but The Incredible Hulk is a vast improvement. It’s not as much fun as Iron Man, but this film has hopefully been able to set up a franchise. While Eric Bana was good as Bruce Banner, but Edward Norton is even better. And while I usually can’t stand Liv Tyler, she was okay as Betty Ross. As with Iron Man, there is a nod to a possible future Avengers film, which with Iron Man, Hulk and Captain America… I can’t even imagine how cool that would be. I don’t really read comic books (aside from the occasional Archie and Uncle Scrooge), but nonetheless, it’s exciting to see so many in development now and I love how they are crossing over. 3/5

By the way, does anyone else remember the early 80s Hulk animated series? It’s my favorite incarnation of The Hulk thus far. Particularly the theme song:

I’ve been meaning to write about WALL*E for about two months… here it finally is.
I have written before about my love for animation. I love the Disney classics, and while I enjoy most of their recent work, many of them “future classics”, it hasn’t blown me away. I wasn’t crazy about all of the Pixar movies. I’ve seen all of them and usually catch them in the theater - although I waited for Cars and Ratatouille to come out on DVD. I thought the second Toy Story was near-brilliant and Finding Nemo was terrific, and while most of the others were good, I didn’t fawn over them like so many other cinemaniacs do. In particular, I don’t see what all the hoot ‘n hollar was about The Incredibles. It was decent but it’s among my least-favorite Disney Pixar movies.
I don’t know when I first heard about WALL*E, the next Disney Pixar film, but it was probably a few years ago when they put out some designs for theater exhibitors. I figured that it would be a cutesy robot movie, though I did like the 70s/80s robot style they used, which is what Short Circuit’s Johnny 5 was also inspired by. Then when previews started appearing late last year, I was not impressed. More of the same Pixar, that’s what I thought. Then there was a Super Bowl spot that didn’t do much for me either. The 2008 film that I was anticipating most was Indiana Jones IV.
Well, that changed when I got to see a bit more of WALL*E at New York Comic Con in April. Disney had a 1-hour panel in which they had the a producer from WALL*E talk about that film, and then had the director and some cast members of Prince Caspian do a Q&A in the second half hour. I wasn’t particularly interested in either film, but I wanted to get a good seat in the theater for a Lucasfilm panel that was going to happen later.
Disney screened approximately 15 to 20 minutes of WALL*E. I cannot tell you how much I was blown away by it. What I saw was brilliant. It was old-fashioned science fiction with some of the most beautiful computer animation I have ever seen. The story takes place on planet earth hundreds of years in the future. The human race has abandoned the planet, but before they left, they put some robots to work to clean up and compact trash - including WALL*E. He keeps working and working. By 2700, there’s nobody else, except for a roach named Hal (get it?) who is WALL*E’s only friend. During those hundreds of years, WALL*E begins to develop character and some human traits, and he collects some of the more interesting earth relics from our generation - the most important of which is a small TV screen with a Beta player and a copy of Hello Dolly. There is no dialogue, aside from beeps and other sound effects provided by Ben Burtt of the Star Wars films. Later on, WALL*E does leave earth and there is dialogue there, but I find it fascinating that (from what I have read) as much as 45 minutes of the film does not have dialogue.
In any case, after I saw the WALL*E footage, Indiana Jones IV was no longer my most-anticipated film. I’m incredibly excited. There has been a preview screening and people are raving - including Harry Knowles at aint-it-cool-news.com, even though he’s under embargo and can’t officially talk about it yet.
WALL*E comes out on June 27.

I still think the title is awful.
Here’s what I gave the previous Indiana Jones flicks…
Raiders: 5/5
Temple of Doom: 4.5/5
Last Crusade: 4/5
This one is 3.5/5. That’s not saying that I’m disappointed. I liked it a lot and was sort of relieved that it didn’t suck. The first review that popped up online was not positive, which significantly lowered my expectations. I liken this film, and the other recent nostalgia sequels (Rambo IV, Rocky VI, Die Hard IV, Odd Couple 2, Blues Brothers 2000 - okay, scratch the last two) to bands reuniting. True, they might not be as good as they once were, but it’s an absolutely thrill to see them together again. While Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls had a few dead spots and some cringe-inducing bits of dialogue, I can’t tell you how awesome it made me feel to see Harrison Ford back as Indiana Jones on the big screen. Shia LaBeouf wasn’t bad, either.
3.5/5

It’s no Pink Flamingos or Female Troubles (that one’s my favorite), but like all of John Waters’ films, it has his distinct mark which means it’s worth seeing. Every moment of every film he has ever made are clearly his. I can’t think of many other directors for whom that can be said. Serial Mom is not among his best, but there was enough to make this worth my time: most notably Sam Waterston, going completely against-type. I had walked past this flick in the video store hundreds of times. (Maybe even thousands - I did work in a video store for more than three years) But I never picked it up. I don’t know why, really… I guess there was always something I wanted to see more. The film was re-released as a Special Edition DVD recently. There is a great new making-of on it, which catches up with Waters and pretty much all of the cast and crew. Even Sam Waterston. The only person missing: Kathleen Turner, but she does turn up with Waters for a commentary.
2/5

This was the second film I saw at Tribeca. If it wasn’t for In the Name of the King, this would be the worst film of 2008. It’s not funny. We get it: People are profiting from the Iraq war. It worked in Dr. Strangelove. If someone wants to argue that it worked in Wag the Dog, I won’t agree but that argument can definitely be made. But this film is just disastrous. It’s annoying. I don’t think I have ever felt this tortured sitting in a theater. Ever. The director and one of the writers stuck around, and I was tempted to ask for a refund. There are a few interesting moments, but they’re not worthwhile. This film is getting a small theatrical release before quickly hitting video shelves in early July. Heed my warning: Steer clear!
1/5

Give me an S. Give me an H. Give me an I… oh, that’s just too obvious. There’s a reason that this 80s cheerleader flick has been forgotten. It’s a typically bad teen sex comedy that’s light on both sex and comedy. There’s also an embarrassing rip-off of that classic dance scene from Flashdance - only with a guy, doing gymnastics. There are some fun scenes towards the end, but overall, skip it. I caught it on Fox Movie Channel, in case you’re looking for it.
1.5/5

The casting of Robert Downey Jr. was brilliant. I don’t think Iron Man is all that cool of a superhero, but Tony Stark is. Unlike Clark Kent, Peter Parker, Bruce Wayne, etc. I prefer the scenes in which he’s not in the costume. I saw this at the Thursday night preview screenings (now you know how far behind I am with this blog) but thankfully I had already read about the post-credits “easter egg” scene (if only I had known about the post-credit scene for Pirates of the Caribbean 3) and stuck around. Iron Man set the bar pretty high for the rest of the Summer. In particular, I think The Incredible Hulk will be compared unfavorably.
3.5/5

This is the front-runner for worst film of the year (it came out in the US in 2008). The notorious Uwe Boll is at it again. He is called this generation’s Ed Wood. Both directors made awful films but thought them to be brilliant. They were delusional, sad men. The only difference is that I enjoy watching Wood’s works, but watching anything by Boll is torture. With a cast of direct-to-video all-stars (Jason Statham, Burt Reynolds, Ray Liotta, Matthew Lillard, Leelee Sobiesky, Claire Forlani, Ron Perlman, Kristanna Loken and John Rhys-Davies), fight choreography even worse than Hercules and Xena, and dialog that only an evil German doctor could have written (yes, he has a PhD), this is pure torture. The film has no redeeming values. It’s so bad that it doesn’t even fit into the ’so-bad-it’s-funny’ category. 127 minutes of misery.
0.5/5 (that’s the lowest rating possible - see what other films have been given that score by me )

Sort of.
I’ve always dreamed of making a movie with Chevy Chase. And this morning, that dream came true.
Sort of.
My friend Mark was kind enough to bring me along to Chevy’s house, where I operated the boom on a video taping. So, technically, my dream came true. I’ll write more about it when the video is released, but I’ll just say right now that Chevy couldn’t have been nicer. He was warm, funny, incredibly kind, and he doesn’t beat his wife. What a guy! I interviewed him (over the phone) a few years ago, read a note that he wrote for me to read to the audience at a Nothing Lasts Forever screening, had seen him walk out of Letterman a while back, and he got stuck in traffic, which kept him from attending an NLF screening on Long Island last year… but I had never actually met the guy. It was an amazing experience that I will never forget.